This week's blog post will probably be a bit boring, and a bit different than my past ones. I have a lot of information about my upcoming year to talk about and new information to let people know. It was a hard week, for both my personal struggle with anxiety and my personal struggles in my life. I will touch on those things, but I will probably write more about them on a later date in a more extensive blog post just about those issues. 

Last Monday I decided to take more charge in my life and in my health. (Not to say I don't actively try and take care of myself, but I was slacking in my standards.) I took a tip from pinterest (the best organizational tool I have ever had) and decided to start setting an alarm for when I wanted to go to sleep at night. The idea is that it will keep you from staying up later. I was a bit skeptical of the idea, but it actually works. Have I started falling asleep at the time I wanted to? Not quite. But have I started going to sleep earlier and waking up earlier? Yes, yes I have. I also spent a lot of my day with my dog. I have to say he is probably the best work out partner ever. We go for runs. He does yoga with me (DOWNWARD DOG.) He even will put his toys on my back when I do pushups and planks. 

I also found out this past Monday that I will not (unless I get taken of an alternate list) be going to grad school this fall. Surprisingly, I am pretty ok with the decisions that were made. Did it sting? A little. Did it open other doors for the next year? Absolutely. It also solidified my decision of not taking an apprenticeship this next year. I had promised myself that if I wasn't going to Grad school this fall that I was going to take that as a sign that I needed to check out and live in New York City this fall/winter/maybe forever. For years I have said I wouldn't live in New York City. That I absolutely hated the idea of being a working actor up there. The truth is I have been terrified of failing in New York. I didn't want to be one of those hundreds of "actors" that move up there and become a waitress and never audition again. I have seen so many people do that. What I forgot about was that, I'm not going to give up. Could it be hard? Absolutely. May my dreams change? Yes. Is all of that ok? Yes it is. The thing as my father keeps telling me, is to keep moving forward. Not to stop because your ideas of happiness and success change. Not to stop just because one door closes. You don't know where your life will take you. And that is ok. Just keep going. I never thought a year ago that I would apply to grad school, that I would fall in love with stage combat, that I would want to pursue a career as a director/ eventual fight choreographer and a stuntie. Am I near those goals? No. But I am working towards them. And is the most exciting thing I have done in awhile. (Don't worry I haven't given up on acting and singing, just found another aspect of my life that filled a hole I had.) And I can happily say I choreographed my first fight this Monday at rehearsal. Granted it was a whip cream fight. BUT IT WAS MY FIRST CHOREOGRAPHING EXPERIENCE.

So friends in NYC. If you know anyone hiring for like Nov./Dec./Jan. and a place I can live when I first get there I'll love you fivever!

Tuesday! Tuesday was a long day. My mother agreed to start going to the gym with me. We both have fitness goals we would like to accomplish, and it's always nice to have someone hold you accountable for those actions. Because of this I started my day with an 8 mile cardio workout. Not the best idea I had considering I had a boot camp style martial arts class that night. Then we went to vote (FEEL THE BERN) and followed up with an amazing lunch together. I always forget about spending time with my mother. I see her pretty often now, but I always forget how quality time feels with her. After that I went to direct the show I am doing by myself and we finished blocking it. Then I drove to Siler City for Moo Duk Kwan. Now because this class was the first class after testing it was called a "fun" class. That meant that the red belts led the class. It was pretty incredible to watch. However, it was pretty painful to do. It's exciting though to end the day with a hot shower and feel like you deserve the sleep you are getting that evening.

Wednesday was pretty uneventful. It was filled with a lot of thinking and pondering. Considering on Tuesday I had accepted a job offer for this fall (more details on that after I sign my contract) and I had another offer for summer work. The decisions I had to make regarding my year were not easy, but I am happy with the decisions that I made. 

Thursday was another eventful day at the gym full of cardio and business calls. But a very rewarding Moo Duk Kwan class that evening. We worked forms for almost an hour.

Friday was a day of relaxation with my dog. He was actually being so good that the two of us went around town exploring and socializing. He did much better than I expected considering how timid and protective he can be. He only growled twice. Granted one time was at a little girl running up to him, but he is getting better. Ended with a beautiful leg day at the gym. Yay all the deadlifts. 

Saturday was a lazy day with my mom. We watched netflix all day and skipped the gym. Though it was beautiful to spend a lot of the day outside with my dog as well. That night was a little rough, but mainly because my wanderlust and anxiety kicked in when I realized I would be spending a few months here in North Carolina. 

Sunday was another fun day of fighting in Raleigh as we prepare for our knife and Unarmed SPTs. Jeff actually pulled out a few videos of fancy knife techniques. 

Now to the News:

1. I hinted at it above, but i have a contract this coming fall where I will get to see new parts of the country and I am beyond excited. 

2. I decided that this summer, because I have the time and resources available I will be spending my summer working on my SPTs and stage combat training by attending the Central Illinois Stage Combat Workshop with DC as well as the National Stage Combat Workshop this summer. 

3. I will be moving to New York this fall after my completed contracts.

I would like to also write a personal thank you to my friends and Mentors Peggy Taphorn, Hector Garza, and Travis Sims this week for their help this past week. Without their listening ears and guidance, I'm not sure I would be as happy with the decisions I made. Until next week!

Song of the Week: