Sometimes we plan to have amazing weeks, and we are surprised with what actually happens. This past week wasn't necessarily a bad week, but it was a huge cup of reality.
This week was my first week back in North Carolina for a long stent of time. I haven't really lived anywhere for almost two years, let alone shared a house with multiple people. (If you haven't caught on I'm staying with my parents to save up money for the next ventures in life.) I was thankful that my mother and grandmother and basically everyone but my dad and I were going to Florida for the week so there would be some quiet time in the house. It was surprisingly the most amazing thing I could have asked for.
The week started with my first real venture into directing. I directed while on tour with Missoula Children's Theatre, but a lot of the keys for success in that job are handed to you. This time it was Patrick and I taking on a script called "Montana Jones and the Gymnasium of Doom" completely on our own. We have an amazing group of kids for this show. I was very surprised when we were holding our mock auditions what I was seeing. I was also surprised at how smooth the class/rehearsal went, and very thankful to have Patrick as co-director of this piece. It is going to be an amazing first step into this other passion of mine. More on this as the rehearsal process continues.
The next day started out a little rougher. I found out I was an alternate for one of my top school choices. Which isn't necessarily bad news, but it almost stings more than a no. It feels like you are so close to our goals, and they are just barely out of reach. It's reassuring about my skills and my abilities, but to be so close to tasting it and not sure of what the outcome is going to be is hard to stomach. Soon after this I went to my own class that I am teaching. We are tackling a short scene called "How Frog got to Heaven" which has some very interesting plot twists toward the end. The kids were an odd mix, all very eager, but all very different. It shows how hard it can be to adjust the same lesson plan for an eight-year-old and an eleven-year-old in the same class. It will definitely be a class that is challenging for me, but will also help me grow. All I can say on it now, is that one kid that drives you crazy, probably needs you the most. After class I was supposed to start my first venture into Martial arts, but unfortunately we had to cancel the trip to class as one of my friends was sick.
TORNADO DAY!- So I thought I would spend my day off going to the gym, playing with my dog, and working towards some of my goals, and instead my dog and I spent the whole day avoiding the heavy winds. Can I just say it is the eeriest feeling walking outside during the middle of a break in a storm and feeling the heat from the earth and smelling the incoming storm? Beautiful but insanely crazy.
The next day was another hard day. I have to say I am very thankful for the numerous friends that I have made over the past few years. I am also very thankful that they feel interested in sharing their lives with me and telling me about their success. Nothing brings more joy to my heart than seeing people I love and care about living happy and full lives. It is however never easy to be fully supportive when you have had a week of rejection. Tinges of jealousy try and overpower your support of others. Especially when you aren't in your ideal job or location and you are still waiting to hear about your own auditions. I actually broke down in front of my father about my struggles, which I have never done before. I'm thankful I did though. My dad pulled out notes and quotes from his planner, some from when he was in his undergraduate studies at Tuskegee. All of them about being serendipitous, and being happy with where you are at in your journey in life. He talked about how he took Martial arts. He told me about his decision to get his PH.D after years of having his DVM. He had planned on taking over a veterinary practice, and then decided he wanted to go into research of parasites and diseases. How he almost worked for U.C. Davis and a bunch of other universities. How because he didn't get those jobs (though he always made it down to one of the last two candidates for the job) he was able to be the FIRST to isolate a parasite in horses and their brains. Which led to hundreds of other discoveries and medications. How he did research for the government, and how he led parts of his own lab. How he had people fighting to higher him, and how different things led to things he didn't expect. He reminded me of two amazing lessons. 1. Just because a door closes doesn't mean you are failing, it means another path is open for you to follow. and 2. It's never too late to change your goals. And it is ok to change our goals. I am beyond thankful to have gotten to learn so much about my father I had never known. He is an incredible man.
The next few days were filled with working towards parts of my career. I recorded audition videos, and sent in my final piece of an application to be an online tutor. I painted. I worked on training with my dog. I went and visited my friends at Epic Games and saw where they worked, and talked to them more about motion capture work. I ended this eye opening week with a knife class full of take downs, and beginnings of choreography. Ever inching closer to that SPT test.
However the biggest take from this past week for me was this:
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE YOUR ABILITY TO HELP OTHERS.
As many of you know I have taken a hiatus from social media for lent. Some of you may not know that I have been posting everyday about things I have learned in my faith or that I have read about in my time spent alone with God either in my devotionals or meditation on my instagram. Most of it was for a personal reflection. To get my thoughts out in some form to help myself with my own journey over lent. I never expected it to touch other people. I had multiple friends reach out to me this week about how inspired they were by what I was doing. Another friend reposted something I said, and another posted a post inspired by what I was doing. In the moments I want to give up, or I question what I am doing, these types of actions remind me of why I do what I do. Why I have the goals I have, and what my purposes are. So even when things are rough, you maybe giving light to someone else to continue their own journey. It is truly a beautiful thing. I am thankful for the people I have in my life, and even though I don't tell them enough, I love each of them very dearly.
Until next week, live each day to the fullest and remember to see the beauty around you.
Song of the week: